Monday, September 21, 2015

Why We Write....

Why We Write Porn
By Kristin Leigh Jones and Kat DeSalle
c/o Jen Rattie Professor of Sexual Literature
Promotional Book Tours

The Has-Been Series really began with a funny porn name, that morphed into a hilarious title, honestly. Began as a joke. The thought process that day went: *cue dream sequence waves*

Ting Tang Tony, mahahahaha,” Kristin laughed parroting back the silly name she’d heard on a television. “Sounds like a porn star name doesn’t it?” she spoke into the phone to her best friend, Kat.

You said what? What are you watching? Aren’t you watching shows with your kid?” Kat asked, she knew it wasn’t uncommon for Kristin to come out of left-field with the most random shit.

Kristin promptly ignored her dear friend because her mind often went to weird places in order to sane in the stream of loud noises, screaming kids, spit-up, and all the romantic notions that follow being a work-from-home mother. “Yep, definitely a porn star name of a guy with a tiny wiener.”
Laughter spilled over the line. “Dude, could you imagine?”

The problem was, Kristin could only ever imagine confessing the strange places her mind went to when speaking to her best friend, Kat, also a work-from-home-mom, who equally shared in her joy and misery.

Between giggles Kat sputtered, “I bet he was a one-hit wonder.”

Yeah just rutting away … like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, chanting, ‘I think I can, I think I can,” Kristin added, the banter between them just getting started.

I bet he totally has to only to anal because it’s so small,” Kat blurted through her own laughter.

Mahahahaha,” Kristin squealed into the phone, her toddler mimicking her horrible laugh in the background. “Wait, oh wait! I’ve got it! Ting Tang Tony: and the Tale of the Little Erection That Could.”

Yes!” Kat hissed. “It’s his one and only break-out role but will live down in the halls of porn fame forever!”

We think all good stories start with a dick joke, right? It was meant to be a short story. Only meant to be written, shared with friends, laughed about and buried in a lonely folder on a hard drive. That Tony was a much different man that he is today, or rather, the Tony you all know. Once we started writing his character came screaming through in our heads, and we thought … huh, maybe there is something more here. Especially after being frustrated readers getting the same algorithms in romance and fiction. With Tony, we started thinking about how there is someone out there for everyone. Sure, everyone loves an alpha billionaire with cock like “whoa”, but average or less than average guys need love too. But it’s more than that. Ting Tang Tony: and the Tale of the Little Erection That Could is about insecurities, and issues—and even if there is someone, that soul mate, out there for you—it won’t work till you figure out your own shit. (See reference below about the “journey” theme, no need to start singing Journey songs though. Please and Thanks!)We wanted something different and we ran with it. And really, we discovered that Tony’s story, and the concept for this series is so much more than porn, that’s just their career—or was— this series is about life and a journey to be complete and happy, or at least content. It’s also about self-discovery, and how life throws you curveballs, and what happens when you win some and lose some.

Once we decided to take a more serious turn with the original short story and develop it into a full novel, (we use the term “serious” loosely, because the comedy is still there but trust me, the original short was all campy and pulp) we started thinking up the other main characters. Poof—within weeks (no joke!) we had a pretty solid outline planned out for eight books. Honestly, plotting that out was some of the most exciting times in our lives. The magic of weaving these character’s lives together, and doing it all with your best friend … Priceless! So now I run to you, with open arms… (Okay, sappy music time over)

Each main character: Tony, Rod, Ric, and Levi; will get two books each. There might be some supplemental short stories or novellas, but that will be bonus content. The really exciting thing about this series, something we haven’t encountered before, is the genre and subgenre crossing we will cover through the eight books. Each guy has his own voyage, his own story, his own personality. For example: Tony’s book is a Romantic Comedy/Contemporary Romance, while Rod’s story falls more in General Fiction but still has Romantic/Erotic content and moments. Stick Me Baby … One More Time, Rod’s book, and well, Rod, just deserves a category all on his own. He’s a rare bird, and we say that with a smile. We feel like publishing his story is like giving birth to a full-grown man with issues. We love him so much and want to slap the shit out of him at the same time. He battles hard with his own demons, being alone, and a disease called: addiction. Rod’s road is bumpy and long, but there are good times to be had along the way.

Although the different books will cross genres, they will have common themes and their stories are interconnected. All four of the main characters appear in every book, in some context. The comedy, banter, or even satire, continues throughout the series, even with the books that have a heavier content or more emotional grit, such as Book 2: Stick Me Baby … One More Time. Really the closest thing to porn we have is we’ve copied the concept of ripping off pop culture: movie titles, song titles, and so on; and made them sexual or pertaining to the story. Yeah we might catch the guys on a shoot or two but the majority of the sexual content throughout the series is between consenting, non-paid adults, developing an emotional relationship— or already in a relationship.

We imagine the next book (Book 3), Levi’s 501 Ways to Tie a Knot, will probably have the most sexual content of the series and will definitely fall into the Erotica category. With Levi being our resident sexy submissive his book will contain prolific and (we stress) consenting, accurate, professional, and proper BDSM content. You guys are really going to like that one. Well, we’re biased, we think you will love them all. We do. Do we have favorites, maybe, but we would never tell. That’s like asking a mom to pick her favorite child. You know they have one but they won’t admit it. ;)

Friday, September 18, 2015

Rod's Running Playlist

Rod has oh so kindly given us a glimpse into his favorite past time, and what songs get him motivated to do so! Check them out below, with commentary included!

Rod's Running Playlist

So here’s my playlist … I feel like I’m letting you rummage around my underwear drawer right now. Although, I must admit it’s pretty empty—you know how I feel about undergarments. This is the list I made for Brad and I to run to. My music library is massive, but I’m not sharing it all with you. That’s too personal. It’s not like you even know what I look like naked or anything.

My Own Private Idaho – B52’s Because it’s the B52’s and they fucking rock. And they tons of music way better than Love-Shack. Go search and download now. You’ll thank me later

Boys Don’t Cry- The Cure Boy are they full of it. You would never know the difference with my crew. Tony, shit, he’s a fucking hugger. Like’s to talk it out.

Love is a Battlefield- Pat Benetar Do I really need to explain it?

Beat It - Michael Jackson I really don’t like this song, Michael has much better music but I threw it on there to give Brad a hard time because I put this list on his iPod too. He’s a master fapper so this one is an ode to him.

Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode It doesn’t always have to be a good beat, this song takes me to good place, and for me—healthy silence—is a good thing.

Hangin’ Tough - NKOTB Okay, I’m not proud but, I’ve never been one to hide anything… well except cocaine when we are running low. But I’m past that now. Sober.

Eyes Without a Face - Billy Idol Yeah, slow again. Good for after I zone-out and hit that runner’s high. Don’t worry, I’ve spoken with my sponsor—that high is totally safe and good with the program.

Rock the Casbah - The Clash Because sometimes you just need to sing jibberish.

I Ran - Flock of Seagulls Pretty self-explanatory although I would like to punch the ad-campaign that used it for that stupid video game… almost ruined it for me.

Rock With You - Michael Jackson Because the list needed some good MJ and this reminds me of roller-skating when I was a kid.

Girls on Film - Duran Duran You know, to reminisce… the good ol’ days.

Me, Myself, and I - De La Soul Impossible to not stop running when this comes on, and start dancing Kid n’ Play style.

Tricky - Run-D.M.C. Well, it is.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Kat & Kristin's Playlist for Rod

Kat and Kristin often get asked what music inspired them while they wrote Stick Me Baby...One More Time. Luckily, they've shared this tidbit of information, and I have to say, it is awesome! Check out the links to the Youtube videos below, and be sure to tune back in soon to check out Rod's Running Playlist! 

Kristin’s writing playlist for Stick Me Baby … One More Time

Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve

Waves –Mr. Probz (Robin Schulz remix)

Wicked Games - Parra for Cuva feat. Anna Naklab

Latch - Disclosure feat. Sam Smith

End of the Innocence - Don Henley

Nights in White Satin- Moody Blues

Day-O - Harry Belafonte

Kat’s writing playlist for Stick Me Baby … One More Time

Habit- Tove Lo

Wasted –Tiesto feat. Matthew Koma

Simple Man - Lynard Skynard

Mary Jane’s Last Dance - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

I Was a Fool - Tegan & Sara

Monday, September 14, 2015

Playboy Interview with Tony and Rod!


***Disclaimer: this mock interview is a work of complete fiction. It in no way represents playboy or any of its affiliates and has been created for promotional entertainment.***

June 2014 issue of Playboy magazine featuring an exclusive interview with Ting Tang Tony, Tony DiMarco

Playboy: Well, Tony, we are happy to have you here and meet the man behind infamous dick. Although, I must admit you are a whole lot of man without much to hide behind … you stand out with your good looks, and height. What are you, about 6’4”?

Tony: laughs. I’m 6’5” actually. And, I’m happy to be here today, Ashley. Even with dick jokes abound.

Playboy: I see you brought—a friend? Does this mean we can let our readers and your fans know that you are officially off the market?

Tony: Laughs again and throws his arm around a dapper, grey-haired gentleman to his left. This handsome, son-of-a-bitch? Nah, he is my best friend though. You all know him as Rod Stick. He couldn’t pass up a trip behind the closed doors here at Playboy. He pats Rod’s back. Yup, he and I are just a bunch of lonely, single old men. He smirks over at his friend.

Rod: Speak for yourself. He snorts. I may be single but I am—sure as hell—never lonely.

Playboy: I laugh at both of them and their playful demeanor. Moving on. Tony, you have a big milestone for your adult film career coming soon, the 20th anniversary of your introductory film, Ting Tang Tony: And the Tale of the Little Erection That Could. Quite an accomplishment for a man of your … traits.

Tony: Yes, quite, I assume … considering all things. But that also means that I just know how to get the job done in many creative ways. He winks, and wags his brows.

Playboy: Blushing, I conceal a knowing giggle. Care to share how you got into the business?

Tony: Oh, you know, it just happens. Things led to one thing, and then another—I was young, the money was good. Not much to tell. He runs a hand across his buzzed head.

Rod: Looks at Tony, then me, and clears his throat. Oh yeah, the money is really good. Especially when you get your own title films or series.

Playboy: Right. Tony, you’ve starred in many but also seem to cameo quite a bit. You are brought in for shock and awe?

Tony: In the beginning and yes, some still, but I’m known for other things now as well. I have my talents.

Rod: Makes rude gestures with his hands in a “V” over his mouth.

Tony: Slaps Rod in the mouth. Surely you’ve done your research and watched some of my films. I don’t ever have an unsatisfied female co-star. I take pride in my craft—in my art. Something other people I know don’t put as much stock in. He jabs Rod in the ribs.

Playboy: Well, I think everyone knows about the famous Tony tongue. I believe Barbara did an interview a while back with us, and she spoke—no—raved about it. I suppose when you have a legend like that bragging about it, it must be something special. I fan myself. I think it’s getting hot in here.

Tony: Laughs and shifts in his seat, looking smug.

Playboy: So back to your work … Pride. Huh? Not something that usually goes hand in hand when you think about your profession. Any plans for the future—for after your glow in the ‘red lights’ fade?

Tony: I have plenty. Actually Rod and I are getting ready to leave for Florida for a shoot. It’s a 4th of July themed film titled: Out With a Bang. It should be great. Barbara Booberella, Rod, myself, Ric Gasher and Levi Johnson are featured. Plus, I have a few private business ventures in the works. I don’t foresee myself ever not being in this business. It’s become my life, and my family. All my friends are in this world and once you are here there’s not much room for you on the outside. The adult industry is like that bad tattoo you got in Mexico. It never goes away and you’re at least glad you got it someplace where people will only see it if you’re naked—not something to share with your grandkids. I’m not ashamed about what I’ve done, or who I’ve done. I live with no regrets and take care of me and mine.

Playboy: ‘Me and mine.’ Does that mean, there’s a ‘someone’ in your life?

Tony: No, not like … that. As I said, I’m single.

Playboy: Hmm … Interesting. Well, that sounds like a good plan. Speaking of tattoos … And Mexico … Do you?

Tony: Of course, who doesn’t love a good margarita in the sand?

Playboy: So where is it?

Tony: Mexico? Hmm, well, you could get there driving south for a little over 2 hours or so depending on traffic. He smiles.

Playboy: Right, and the tattoo?

Tony: Tattoo? You were talking about Mexico. The corner of his mouth turns up.

Playboy: Yes, and tattoos.

Tony: Well.

Playboy: Ting Tang Tony …

Tony: Yes.

Playboy: That’s an interesting one.

Tony: Well, you know. He shrugs

Playboy: Ok, let’s wrap up with one final question: if you had to buy lingerie for a partner what would you buy?

Tony: Laughs.

Rod: Well, I can tell you it wouldn’t be latex inspired. Makes a crack the whip sound.

Playboy: Oh, no?

Tony: I do occasionally enjoy the whip and tickle. But, I’d have to say the thought of a woman in one of my tee shirts, completely comfortable with herself and me, is really hot. Besides, I’d just be taking it off anyway, and what’s underneath is sexier than any lingerie. Grins.

Playboy: Oh, and you are a sweetheart to boot.

Tony: I’m just being honest.

Playboy: And I just made the big guy blush. You will make one special lady very happy someday, Tony. I know that for sure. That’s it, my work is done. We can’t wait to see Out With a Bang, the special edition Ting Tang Tony: And the Tale of the Little Erection That Could, and see what else is in store for you, Ting Tang Tony. Thank you for taking the time with us today.

Tony: Thank you for having me, and letting this guy tag along. He slaps Rod’s arm.

Rod: Hey, someone had to liven the party up. Thank you, Ashley, and you playboy. Now, where do they hide the Bunnies in the corsets? The guys laugh and continue their banter as they get up to leave.